


Looking Forward

by Kiy_M



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Clone Drama, Eventual Fluff, F/F, Some Plot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-29
Updated: 2019-08-05
Packaged: 2020-02-09 23:49:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18648625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiy_M/pseuds/Kiy_M
Summary: A mission with the Legends forces Ava to confront feelings about her past that she's long since put behind her. Meanwhile, Sara is learning how to support her girlfriend through it all.Avalance. Set pre 4-09.





	1. February, 1939

"You know, this room used to be a boardroom."  
  
It isn't, anymore. Ava is tucked into the corner of a long, plush sofa. Beside her, Ray and Zari are jostling for leg room, both with their feet propped up on the nearby table. Charlie sits at the far end of the sofa, pressed against the arm rest as she tries not to get hit with stray elbows.  
  
Mick has wisely claimed a nearby armchair, and watches the others with mild disdain.  
  
"What the hell would a ship like this need a boardroom for?" he asks. It's a good question, really. The captain's office is more than big enough for meetings. Still, Ava knows the design schematics for the Waverider back to front, and "boardroom" was the original designation. Even so, it's hard to imagine business meetings in this space. All the original furniture is long gone, replaced with a mismatched set of soft chairs and the sofa, which is old and a little lumpy but still comfortable. ("Well-loved," Ava thinks.) On the opposite wall, there's a TV set (relatively modern) sitting on top of an old luggage trunk (clearly antique), along with a set of little superhero figurines. You couldn't find a room that was a better fit for the Legends.  
  
Ava loves every bit of this room, soft and worn-in and full of people she considers friends.  
  
"I guess they weren't really planning on Waverider movie nights," she says.  
  
"More fool them!" Ray says. "Everyone should watch The Wizard of Oz at least once."  
  
At this point, Sara and Nate come through the door, arms full of snacks. Nate is still mostly dressed for work, jacket off and tie long gone. Sara, however, has gone all out: pajama pants, slippers, and a blanket draped around her shoulders. This is a woman who takes movie night seriously. She distributes the snacks around before moving to stand at the front of the room, facing the team. The captain's mission briefing, Ava thinks, although it's way funnier when the captain is dressed like a teen girl at a sleepover party. The pajama pants were a birthday gift from Ava, with a "cute birds" motif that Sara had loved instantly. They look adorable on her, and it's frankly a little distracting. (Even more distracting is the memory of the night she got them, of walking into her bedroom to find Sara wearing them, and nothing else.)  
  
"Now," Sara starts, "I know you're all thrilled to get going with movie night. But, this isn't just a fun night in. We've got some weird time anomalies detected in the making of this movie. So, keep an eye out. You're looking for anyone that looks out of place, any special effects that look a little too good for 1939, or anything that looks like real magic. Okay? Anybody who's seen the movie before, see if you can spot anything different from what you remember. "  
  
"Has anybody seen this movie before?" Zari asks. "Seems a little old even for you guys."  
  
Ray looks indignant. "Come on! of course we've seen it. Right? Hands up."  
  
Nate and Sara both raise a hand. Ava raises a hand too, before catching herself, putting it back down, frowning. She remembers watching it with her parents as a little girl, but of course that never happened. She remembers seeing it in a theatre, on a blind date at an old film festival, but that was some other Ava, wasn't it? She's starting to wonder if she can trust her memories of the movie at all, when she feels her hand being tugged back upwards.  
  
"Still counts," Sara says, raising her hand and Ava's together. "Besides, now you get to watch it again. With us!"  
  
"Still don't know why I had to be here." Charlie leans forward, frowning at Sara. "How would I know anything about this film?"  
  
"We need you to keep an eye out for anything magical," Sara responds. "Constantine might have been helpful for that, if I could ever get him to show up to anything. He wouldn't even tell me what kind of weird shit he's up to tonight."  
  
Ava's pretty sure she knows where he is.  
  
"Oh, it's D&D night."  
  
Nearly the entire team stops to give her skeptical looks.  
  
"You know, Dungeons & Dragons? Gary is running a new campaign." Judging from their faces, this doesn't seem to be enough explanation. "Gary says John plays a really heartfelt, uh- elf bard. That he's the heart and soul of the party."  
  
"Heartfelt elf bard," Zari repeats incredulously. Nate snorts.  
  
Sara is just smiling. "You know what? I'm happy for him."  
  
"Okay, but you're still gonna dress him up as a 'bard' on a mission sometime, right?" Nate asks.  
  
"Oh, absolutely."  
  
Sara grabs the TV remote and glances around the room.  
  
"Oh no!" She says, voice dripping with mock concern, "I can't believe there aren't any seats left!"  
  
Zari is rolling her eyes. "Sara, there are three entire empty chairs. Don't even think about it."  
  
"Well, I guess we'll have to share!"  
  
Sara tries to wiggle herself into the space between Ava and the arm of the sofa. There isn't really any space at all, so she ends up entirely in Ava's lap, pushing Ray away with her feet.  
  
"Oi, Lance! This is not a five-person sofa!" Charlie protests.  
  
Sara laughs. "Just snuggle up!" As if to demonstrate, she leans her head fully onto Ava's shoulder and wraps her blanket around the two of them. Sara is effortlessly affectionate, as always. After all this time together, Ava is finally getting used to this, to holding hands in public and getting kissed in the Waverider hallways. It still doesn't come as naturally to her, but she's getting the hang of it. She wraps her arms tightly around Sara's waist, settling in for another movie night with her girlfriend.  
  
\-------  
  
Comfortingly, the movie is exactly as she remembers. Sara is warm and relaxed in her lap, only moving to kick Ray when he starts singing along under his breath. She also insists on hand-feeding Ava skittles, which is a little embarrassing but not unwelcome (her favourite candy, from her favourite person.) Between that and the hand tracing warm lines into her forearm, Ava has almost completely forgotten the mission. She loses herself in the feeling of an (almost) ordinary night in, a woman she is in love with and a team she's come to trust.  
  
They're well into the movie when she spots something, in the background but unmistakeable. Fear grips her instantly, and from the way Sara stiffens in her arms, she's seen it too.  
  
"Stop! Stop- Just go back a little." Ava says, clinging to the faint hope that she might have been wrong. Sara fumbles with the rewind and pause buttons for a few seconds, but the adrenaline in Ava's bloodstream makes it feel like an eternity. Finally, she finds the right shot, and pauses the screen on a clear image.  
  
"Is that- ?" Zari starts, but can't quite finish her question.  
  
She doesn't have to. Tucked in the background amongst other minor characters, Ava's own face stares back at her.  
  
"It's another one of me."  
  
Her voice cracks on the last word, and all of a sudden she's ashamed. She should know, by now, how to deal with the "clone thing". How to think about the fact that she's one of identical thousands without breaking down, but the lump in her throat and the shaking of her hands give her away. She watches Sara wince at the phrasing, at the look on Ava's face.  
  
"Shit, Ava- " She whispers. She tries to take Ava's hand, but Ava is already shifting out from under her. She's out the door before she even knows where she wants to go.  
  
\-------  
  
When Sara finds her, Ava is cross-legged on Sara's bed, surrounded in research. She has three open display screens and a notebook- 1930s fashion, street addresses of every filming location, cast lists to be cross-referenced with acting agency client records. This is still a mission, after all, and the harder she concentrates on that, the less likely she is to crumble into a mess. She hears Sara come in, but she can't look up from her work, knows she's walking a knife edge between normal and crying, and the look in Sara's eyes might be enough to tip her over. With shaking hands, she adds another name to her agency list, hoping and dreading the possibility of finding her own name.  
  
This manic energy isn't new to her. It is, and has always been, her crisis response. The day she learned where she came from, she didn't bother to return to her apartment. She spent a full three days in her office, fell asleep at her desk when she was too tired to read the words in front of her. She wonders how many times this has happened to her, how many times it happened to one of the previous "models". Were some of those times not even real? That's something they'd leave out of the brochure, certainly. "Compulsively overworks to avoid an emotional breakdown." All she can see in her mind's eye is her own face staring down from a fucking billboard.  
  
She knows she's losing the fight against a rising tide of panic, but Sara is there. Ava's work has been pushed aside and Sara has moved into the space, both hands on her shoulders.  
  
She slides both hands up to Ava's face, murmurs "Sweetheart." in that voice of hers, and god, that alone is enough to turn her mood around a little. She feels moisture between Sara's fingertips- has she been crying already?  
  
"We're going to go find her, right?" she asks.  
  
Sara nods. "Yeah, we are."  
  
Ava reaches for her notebook, but Sara stops her hand.  
  
"Planning starts tomorrow morning, not right now. Captain's orders."  
  
Her first thought is to worry. The absolute last thing she wants is to be left alone with her thoughts. She trusts Sara, though, even if she can't trust herself right now. She drops her head forward onto Sara's shoulder.  
  
"You can't order me around," she says, voice a little rough with tears, "I'm _your_ boss."  
  
Sara laughs, and Ava finds that she's smiling too, despite everything.  
  
"Alright, fine. I'm _suggesting_. I suggest you wait here while I go get you one of those herbal teas. Then, I come back and we go to sleep. That ok?"  
  
She wants to say it's OK, and she's feeling better. Sara knows her too well to believe the lie.  
  
"Please don't leave me alone," she says instead.  
  
Sara nods.  
  
True to her word, Sara doesn't leave. Ava gets her cup of tea courtesy of Gideon and Ray, who brings it to their room. Once she's done, Sara lies her down, tucks the two of them in together, and distracts her.  
  
They talk. Ava can't even begin to talk about what's bothering her, so they talk about the team. Sara easily takes over the majority of the conversation. Ava asks occasional questions and offers some suggestions, but Sara doesn't need them. Just listening to her is enough to ease some of the lingering anxiety in Ava's chest, replace it with a wave of fondness for this woman. She's a born leader - passionate and insightful, perceptive and empathetic. Ava thinks back to her years studying the Legends and their captain,and wonders how her files could have gotten it so wrong. How could they have missed her skills, her dedication, her kindness? The way she talks about her team tells a story. She reads them, understands what they need. She supports them, and it gets them through crisis after crisis.  
  
She reads Ava just as easily.  
  
It's how Ava finds herself drifting off, head pillowed on Sara's chest. She listens to Sara's words, when she's speaking, and her heartbeat, in the silences. She thinks back to before she had Sara, when she woke up alone and sore, still sitting in her office chair, and the memory makes her tuck her face a little further in.  
  
"Comfy," she mumbles. It comes out a little slurred. She's closer to sleep than she realized.  
  
Sara laughs softly. "You love the boob pillow, huh?," she says, and yes, Ava definitely has her nose buried between Sara's breasts. She's too sleepy to be embarrassed.  
  
"Yeah," she says, "Love you."  
  
It's the last thing she remembers before sleep.  
  
\-------  
  
 The search in 1939 proves more difficult than they planned. Ava expected (maybe foolishly) to have an easier time finding the impostor, given that they had an actual photographic record of her.  
  
It's mid-February, and the "Emerald City" set is fully constructed, ready for filming. After some research, they've narrowed down the date of the scene in question to within a week. The last three days have been spent setting up a cover. Ava, along with Ray and Nate, are signed up as extras. The work of a Hollywood extra in the 1930s, as she discovers, is mostly waiting, and occasionally walking somewhere. Every morning, she gets haphazardly stuffed into a costume which she knows will look whimsical on film, but in reality is just stuffy and very, very itchy. Complicating this is the fact that she's effectively already in costume, courtesy of the Legends' extensive period clothing collection. So, she gets dressed up twice every morning - once as a poor aspiring actress and then again as whatever is required of her for the day's shoot. Today's outfit involves a garish, starchy vest with pom-pom buttons and Ava can't wait to get out of it. She's soaking through it with sweat already, under the stage lights, and it's barely noon. Nate and Ray aren't faring much better, with suit jackets, cravats, and ridiculous boots.  
  
Sara is disguised as a wealthy investor's daughter, a little naive and a lot beautiful. She plays the role well. She's also wearing a classically elegant red dress, silky and flowing, and it looks gorgeous on her. Every time Ava spots her, she's overcome with a mix of lust, jealousy, and inescapable itchiness.  
  
This afternoon, Sara gets to spend her time rubbing shoulders with the elites while Ava watches from a distance, eating food cart ham sandwiches with the rest of the less important crew. Ava isn't particularly jealous of the company, but she does get a little grouchy watching Sara flirt shamelessly with anybody who might have information she needs. This is a perfect disguise, Ava reminds herself, and Sara's already used her new leverage to get Ray a small part in the target scene. When that's not enough, she reminds herself that when filming wraps for the day and they all head back to the Waverider, she's going to grab Sara and peel her out of that gorgeous dress inch by inch, smear red lipstick all over her jaw and down her neck. It's a distracting fantasy. She's just reached the part where she musses up Sara's perfect wavy hairdo when she feels someone grab her elbow.  
  
"Rosie!"  
  
She turns, and finds a young man in a stage hand's outfit, looking agitated. He gives her arm another insistent tug.  
  
"Rosie, what are you doing over here? We've been looking for you! Too good to eat lunch with us or something?"  
  
Ava, still a little distracted, almost corrects him. Nate, thankfully, catches on a bit more quickly.  
  
"Oh! Uh - _Rose_ here was just showing us around. We're new."  
  
Nate reaches out for a handshake. Ava isn't sure she can pull off this new persona, so she lets Nate take over.  
  
And just like that, they have a name. Rose.  
  
\-------  
  
When Ava finally steps back onto the ship with Ray and Nate, it's nearly 9 PM. Her mind is still a whirlwind of concerns. Should she keep up the charade? Keep pretending to be Rose? Ray and Nate are in favour. Their new friend Roger was an endless font of information throughout the day. He's particularly fond of Nate, which Ava thinks is sweet and promptly teases Nate about.  
  
 ("It's your raw charisma," she tells him. "That, and his huge crush on you."  
  
Nate, to his credit, seems flattered.)  
  
Ava thanks her lucky stars that Gideon has kept Sara up-to-date via communicators because she hasn't got nearly enough patience for a round table de-briefing with the entire team. She's absolutely looking forward to an entirely different sort of de-briefing, however.  
  
Sara has already been back on the ship for an hour or so, which puts a wrench in Ava's fantasy plans. She's already showered and changed into a T-shirt and jeans. Ava can't quite find it in her to be upset - Sara is stunning in anything. Still, it's hardly fair, when Ava is still stuck in a ridiculous dress.  
  
Ray and Nate walk off quickly, which is nice. Nate gives her a completely obvious wink on the way out, which she probably deserves for the teasing earlier. She turns to Sara for their usual - small talk, jokes, a hand in hers - but the look on Sara's face stops her. There's something serious there; Sara is smiling, but there's a shine to her eyes that's just this side of tears. Ava is reminded a little uncomfortably of the day Sara broke up with her. She can tell, though, that now's not the time to talk. Sara grabs her by the hand and tugs her, slowly, towards her room.  
  
Once they're both inside, Ava sits on the bed and pulls on their joined hands, but Sara doesn't come with her. Instead, she kneels in front of Ava, still looking at her with that enigmatic smile. She grabs Ava's feet one at a time, gently pulling off her shoes. Ava has barely registered the pain her feet were in, but Sara, somehow, can tell. She can probably also tell that Ava was looking for something more heated, more energetic, but Sara is defiantly soft, slow and gentle, rubbing circles into the arch of Ava's foot. Ava closes her eyes and lies back on the bed, tries to relax into it, but the touch still lights sparks underneath her skin. When Sara suddenly runs a hand up the back of her calf, she jumps so hard that she almost kicks Sara in the chest.  
  
Laughing, Sara pulls Ava back into a sitting position.  
  
"Looking for something specific, Director Sharpe?" she teases. Sara has never used Ava's title for anything other than seduction, and it really _works_ , in a way Ava can't quite explain.  
  
A hand moves around to the back of Ava's neck, fiddling with the infuriating clasp of her period-accurate dress. The thing has multiple fixtures, and _layers_ , and Ava ran out of patience hours ago. Sara, however, seems to have endless patience. She's slow, methodical, peeling the dress off bit by bit, pulling out hooks and unbuttoning. She finds the pinkish indentations where the dress was pulled a bit tight, rubs the marks out and kisses them better. Slowly, as more skin is on show, her kisses get bolder, and Ava is _on fire_. She's also suddenly, embarrassingly aware of how dirty she still is, dust and dry sweat clinging to every inch of her. She lets Sara push one more wet, enthusiastic kiss against her collarbone before pushing her away, an explanation on the tip of her tongue.  
  
But Sara, still smiling, cuts her off. "Go shower. I'll wait here."  
  
\-------  
  
She doesn't quite get the night she anticipated, that blend of rough and playful that she and Sara are so good at, but she gets something rarer - Sara's soft side. The same gentle hands that pulled her out of her costume draw patterns into her skin, pulling her apart with just as much care. Sara needs this tonight, for some reason, and Ava can't help but respond with the same gentleness.  
  
In the afterglow, Ava is content, and drowsy. She almost doesn't catch Sara speaking, softly, face tucked into Ava's shoulder.  
  
"I just need to say- You know, right? That I love you. That I want this. That I'm never gonna stop wanting you."  
  
Ava wants to stop her, to say Yes. Yes of course I know. but Sara's not done. She can't interrupt.  
  
"I still feel - I'm sorry. For when I broke up with you. I loved you then too, and I don't think I can forgive myself."  
  
It's been so long since then. It's a surprise that Sara is still thinking of it, but she's always felt things so deeply. Letting go of guilt is hard for her.  
  
"I forgave you ages ago," Ava whispers. "Of course I know. I love you too. How could I not know?"  
  
She grabs Sara's hand in one of hers, and uses the other to hug her tighter. She loves Sara like this - emotional and a little needy. Loves that Sara trusts her enough to be this vulnerable. Still, it's heartbreaking that she still doubts herself.  
  
"I still feel like you deserve better than me. But - I'm working on being a better person. For you."  
  
Just like that, Sara pushes her over onto her side, presses warmly against her back. Ava is still a little stunned, still grasping for the words to tell Sara how she really feels. 'Don't change anything' or 'You're perfect already' don't sound quite right. As Sara drifts off to sleep, she misses her chance.  
  
\-------  
  
They spend another two days in 1939. Rose, as they learn, went missing one full day before they met Roger, which is why he was so relieved to find "her". This means that Ava and Rose were on set together for two full days, which makes her disappearance even more infuriating. Zari insists that they wait for the target scene, which she's spent a whole week watching over and over for clues. Ava is starting to doubt.  
  
To Ava's great dismay, the target scene comes, and goes, and Rose is nowhere to be seen. Even worse, Ava is still pretending to _be_ this woman, chatting with her friends, and _taking on her roles_. They film the scene, and Ava is in it.  
  
She's spent a week dealing with the anxiety she felt, seeing her own face staring back at her from the TV screen, only to find out that it really honestly was just her.  
  
"You know, it's kind of cool that you were in The Wizard of Oz." Sara tells her at breakfast the next day. Ava bites back something about regulations, about how showing up on film is completely inappropriate for any Time Bureau agent, much less its director. There really is something to it, though: becoming, however indirectly, a part of history. Ray prints out a movie still and uses black marker to circle the edge of the shot, where you can see the back of his head, and Nate's shoulder. He pins it up in his bunk. He pins up the shot of Ava, too, with no markings needed since her face is so conspicuous. It's sweet of him.  
  
Over the next few days, they settle back into routine. Ava goes back to her apartment and regular day job. The problem is - this woman, Rose, existed. Missing her in 1939 didn't solve the mystery, but it did waste their only lead. The Legends agree to keep an eye out, though, and Ava still searches, even with no real place to start. They mutually agree that the rest of the Bureau doesn't need to know.


	2. September, 2014

Two weeks later, Ava is at her desk when she gets three texts in a row from Sara. "Think I found another lead." and then, "Please don't be mad." and then, "sorry"  
  
She's tapping the call button before she even thinks about it. Sara picks up halfway through the first ring.    
  
"Heeey, Ava!"  
  
Sara's voice is conspicuously cheerful. Ava knows this tone. She narrows her eyes, even though Sara can't see her through the phone.  
  
"What did you do?"  
  
"Hey! I resent that. I haven't done anything. Yet."  
  
This does very little to quell Ava's fears.  
  
"Sara- please, just tell me what's wrong."  
  
And, for all her teasing, Sara knows how worried Ava has been. Her voice shifts to a more serious tone.  
  
"Okay. There's no hurry. No one is hurt or in danger. I found another lead but I really don't think you're going to like it."  
  
Ava bites her lip, mind whirring with the alarming possibilities.  
  
"What is it? Should I come over now? I can reschedule some cadet briefings and have Gary file some - "  
  
Sara cuts her off. "No, no, it's fine. Just text me when you're done, and I'll meet you at home."  
  
_At home._  
  
Ava's apartment, of course, where Sara technically doesn't live. Still, she spends nights whenever she can, leaves things behind. Calls it "home". Ava still isn't used to it. It's as if Sara has this direct line to her heart - anytime she's nervous, Sara does some tiny, sweet thing to make her smile. She really is smooth. In the moment, Ava wishes she had this power - to reassure Sara, to take away some of that guilt and insecurity. The words just aren't coming to her.  
  
"Alright, babe. At home. I'll try not to freak out too much until then."  
  
Within five minutes, she's freaking out. What could Sara possibly have found? Is her clone a supervillain? Are there multiple clones on the loose? Is her clone infiltrating other, worse films? Westerns??  
  
She ends up leaving an hour early, after delegating some reports. She sends a quick text to Sara before gathering up her things and locking up her office. By the time she's opening a portal, Sara is already waiting, and Ava walks through the portal straight into a hug.  
  
Ava is impatient. After a full afternoon of waiting, she needs to know what's going on. But, she takes the time to wind down and change out of her work clothes, at Sara's request. Sara is _nervous_ , for some reason. Finally, when they're both sitting on the bed, PJs and comfy slippers, she seems to have psyched herself up for it.  
  
She pulls out her personal phone, and lets out a long breath. "Like I said, don't hate me."  
  
Ava, thoroughly confused, watches Sara navigate through folders on the device.  
  
First "Old stuff," and then, "Taxes". Sara is legally dead, and probably not filing taxes.  
  
"April 2014" There is no way that Sara owned this device in 2014.  
  
"zari stay out"  
  
"i mean it"  
  
This opens up to a list of folders that Sara scrolls through, too quickly for Ava to read the titles. She just manages to catch the one Sara taps on - "girls only" - and _Oh_.  
  
She glances up at Sara's face - beet red - before looking down at the rows of images and video thumbnails on the screen. All of Sara's nervousness suddenly makes sense.  
  
She laughs. She can't help it; the situation is just too ridiculous. Sara's face goes from embarrassed to indignant in record time, and she shoves at Ava's arm.  
  
"Hey! You're not supposed to laugh at me, jerk!"  
  
" _Sara_. Baby, were you expecting me to be mad that you watch porn?"  
  
Sara groans in embarrassment at the word and buries her face in her hands.  
  
"Yes? No? I don't know. Some people don't like it. I just-"  
  
Her next words are muffled, too quiet for Ava to hear. She tugs gently at Sara's hands until she can see her face again . Sara keeps her eyes downcast, almost shy, and it's such an unusual look for her that Ava holds back her teasing.  
  
"Hmm?" she prompts.  
  
 "Sometimes I miss you."  
  
Ava kisses her, at that.  
  
"You're sweet, Sara. And I have no problem with it. But I think you brought me here for a reason and I'm starting to suspect what it is."  
  
Sara sighs, brings the phone back up and scrolls down. Ava catches glimpses of faces, limbs, and skin. She can't help but try to store these images away, all the little secret things that Sara likes but doesn't talk about. Finally, Sara stops on a row of folders, taps on one.  
  
 "looks like her"  
  
"You have a folder for women who - "  
  
 "Who look like my extremely gorgeous girlfriend? Obviously."  
  
It really is deeply flattering. Ava glances at the number of files (57? Wow.) and the folder creation date -  
  
"This is way before we started dating."  
  
"What? You're hot. You were hot the day I met you. I'm not blind."  
  
Ava watches a few more images scroll by under Sara's finger, and sees a not-insignificant amount of women in suits.  
  
"The day you met me you insulted my suit."  
  
" Look, that's - It doesn't matter."  
  
(Ava mentally adds another tally mark to her suspicion that Sara _really_ likes the suit.)  
  
"Anyway, I hope this isn't too weird," Sara says, and then hits 'play'.  
  
As if it could be anything other than weird.  
  
There's no preamble to the video, so as soon as it starts Ava is met with the sound of loud, exaggerated moans. On the screen, a dark-skinned woman with wavy black hair reclines in an armchair, fully nude. She's beautiful, and despite everything, Ava can feel a twinge of her body responding. Ava's gaze trails downward to the woman's hands, tangled in a nest of blonde hair . Ava can't see the blonde's face clearly because- well, because it's buried between the first woman's thighs. Ava chokes a little, looks away. She knows she must be blushing, and that she can't help it. She may have a liberal view of porn in general, but she's never actually _watched_ it, and it makes her feel a little clumsy and inexperienced, to be sitting here with Sara and her 57 video links. Sara, who she desperately wants to please and sometimes worries she isn't enough for. Who is, admittedly, looking very embarrassed as well.  
  
"Let me just, um. Move it ahead."  
  
She drags her finger across the slider to skip a few minutes of video. When she lets go, Ava finds herself staring into a face identical to hers. Her clone is  gazing sensuously into the camera, shining moisture all across her lips and chin, whispering something exceedingly dirty in _Ava's own voice_. Sara quickly jabs the pause button.  
  
A moment stretches awkwardly between them.  
  
"So," Ava says, and hesitates.  
  
"So?"  
  
"So, my clone did porn."  
  
Sara nods.  
  
Ava is still processing. This is nowhere near the worst thing she imagined, and she's more OK with it than she expected. Her first thought catches her off guard.  
  
"Is it weird that I'm glad it's lesbian porn? I know it's not really me. It shouldn't matter. But she still has my face. If I had to see any - you know," she makes a vague gesture with her hands, "man parts - I'd probably be way less calm."  
  
"You are way calmer than I thought you'd be."  
  
Ava closes her eyes, searching her thoughts for the panic, the anxiety she would have expected, but she doesn't find it. It's odd to see her own face in this context, but this woman is more like an identical stranger than another Ava. Her brain is ticking through ideas to investigate, but calmly, rationally. And, when she puts those thoughts aside, she finds a hot tendril of excitement at the thought of Sara, her _girlfriend_ , flustered and blushing, opening up about the things that make her tick.  
  
"I've been so nervous about this. It's a huge relief to finally have a lead. And she may be gay but she's nothing like me and I'm _so happy_ about that."  
  
Sara seems to understand. Ava wants desperately to set herself apart from those other clones, and with this one she doesn't have to. She can't imagine ever being comfortable being filmed like that.  
  
"It feels like suddenly instead of another version of me running around, I just have a weird twin. But, uh, Sara?"  
  
She chews her lip, thinks of how best to ask. There's not much to get done tonight. She could indulge her curiosity.  
  
"Is she _good_? I mean, is it a good video?" _Did you enjoy it?_  
  
Sara shrugs.  
  
"I mean, the first two minutes were pretty hot, but I stopped watching when I saw it was her. It felt like crossing a line."  
  
Now that Ava thinks about it, she knows Sara is right. This isn't something she would have been comfortable with, having Sara _enjoying_ one of her clones, even indirectly. Of course Sara would know.  
  
Ava is struck, suddenly, with awareness of how well Sara has been handling the situation. Sara came to her nervous and embarrassed, scared that this would hurt their relationship, but she _came_. She didn't go off on her own and put herself in danger, trying to solve the problem without worrying Ava. A memory tugs at the back of Ava's mind - _"I'm trying to be a better person for you."_ \- and suddenly it's so important that Sara knows how much this means.  
  
Sara is already moving on to strategizing - "I'll have to ask Zari to trace the video. She's never gonna let me forget this."  
  
Ava grabs her hand, stops her.  
  
"Sara, _thank you-_. Thank you for coming to me. I know it was hard to talk about and I'm grateful."  
  
It's nowhere near everything she wants to say to Sara, but she's glad she said it, and Sara is smiling warmly at her. They'll work this out together, Ava knows. And aside from the mission, Sara willingly gave her a look into the things she keeps secret, and Ava is addicted. She wants to know everything about Sara, especially when it's such a delicious secret.  
  
Really, they probably shouldn't start planning until tomorrow.  
  
Ava picks Sara's phone up off the blanket, drops it back into Sara's hands, and moves behind her, chin on her shoulder.  
  
"We'll trace it tomorrow. In the meantime, how about you show me the rest of the folder?"  
  
\-------  
  
"What the _fuck_ , Sara?"  
  
Zari tugs out a chair and to sit across from Sara, who is looking sheepish despite a bulging mouthful of oatmeal. She and Ava exhausted all her avenues for tracing the video before breakfast, and reluctantly admitted that they would need an expert. Sara 'took care of' asking Zari, but knowing Sara that meant sending her a video link with "can u trace this?" written underneath and no warnings whatsoever. Ava busies herself making tea. She's not quite sure she can look Zari in the eyes.  
  
"It's a lead! It's Ava's rogue doppelganger! It's not- uh- recreational."  
  
Ava glances over at Zari, who looks exasperated but not surprised, so she's probably seen the part of the video with the clone's face, and by extension she's seen way more of what Ava looks like naked than she probably wanted to.  
  
"Well, how did you even find it in the first place?"  
  
Sara cringes a little. "Uh, that part might have been recreational," she admits, and Zari groans into her hands.  
  
The part afterwards was recreational too, Ava thinks, smiling into her teacup. Once past the initial embarrassment, Sara was shy but open and honest. It was hot, definitely, but also sweetly intimate, and Ava wants to keep doing it every night until they run out of videos. She's also gleefully certain about Sara's thing for women in suits, and she's definitely planning on wearing the Bureau suit in the bedroom sometime.  
  
"Alright, Sara, here's how this is gonna go. I can look at the website, see if there's any more information there. _You_ are going to watch that whole video, because I sure as hell won't, and you're going to look for any clues about the location or the date. OK?"  
  
Sara nods. Neither she nor Ava have actually watched the video end-to-end, but it's a clear next step.  
  
"And," Zari continues, "because I love and respect both of you, I'll keep this a secret. And, Sara? Next time, warn a girl, please."  
  
With that, she stands to leave. She gets all the way to the door before turning to look at Ava, concern on her face.  
  
"How are you doing? This must be weird for you. You OK?"  
  
Ava nods, grateful. She's still a little embarrassed about that first night - about losing her cool in front of the entire team, but they've been nothing but sympathetic. Like her own little supportive family, which is a new and intoxicating feeling.  
  
"Thanks, but I'm doing OK. And sorry for - you know."  
  
Zari smiles at her. "Don't apologize for it. I know you. It was absolutely 100% Sara's fault."  
  
She walks off before Sara can respond.  
  
\-------  
  
Sara, thankfully, goes to watch the video on her own while Ava is at the office. She does include Ava in all the messages she sends to Zari - a still frame of the view out a window or a clock. Most of the clues are pretty weak but Ava has high hopes. They've solved problems with less. All the images Sara sends have carefully excluded any people, probably for Ava's sake.  
  
Ava's hopes finally pan out in the late afternoon when the last message comes in.  
  
"Gabrielle R."  
  
"September 2014"  
  
Not "Rose"? Hopefully still the same person.  
  
There's a filming address and a home address. She's eternally grateful for the second one, which means she hopefully won't have to investigate the filming studio. She knows Zari has done extra work to make this easier for her.  
  
She takes a closer look at the addresses - Italy? Judging by the accents she expected USA. She's never heard the city's name before, but quickly looks it up. Gabrielle (or whoever she is) films in a mid-sized city and lives in a nearby small town. The town is unexpectedly beautiful - idyllic, even - judging by the images online. Ava finds Gabrielle's home with no difficulty and it's similarly lovely - a fairy tale cottage with a lush garden and thick vines climbing up the side. There's even a cobblestone path.  
  
This doesn't seem right.  
  
Her phone pings with a text message, from Sara.  
  
"studio is the trashiest place ive ever seen. super gross. even i wouldnt go in there."  
  
Ava taps in the studio address and - yeah, it's a decrepit abandoned factory. Half the windows are shattered. It's nestled in an industrial compound that seems mostly empty.  
  
Ava picks up her phone to respond.  
  
"Have you seen her house yet?"  
  
After a minute, Sara's response comes through.  
  
"wtf???"  
  
Ten seconds after the text comes through, Sara is walking through her office door, phone still in hand.  
  
"What the hell is up with this woman? Her house is like a quaint village paradise and she drives two hours to a garbage dump to film lesbian porn."  
  
Ava wasn't expecting an office visit but she's happy for it. Sara looks a little grouchy and frustrated, but when she catches the wide smile on Ava's face she softens. The draw of a new clue to their mystery has Ava in good spirits.  
  
Sara conspicuously clicks the lock shut before coming further in. She purposefully ignores Ava's office seating and instead boosts herself up to sit cross-legged on the desk.  
  
"You think it might be a mistake?" Ava asks. She turns her laptop to face Sara, still looking at the decrepit "studio".  
  
"I had Gideon look at it too. It was definitely here. She triangulated it from the buildings in the window or something." Sara waves a hand vaguely; she doesn't understand what it means but trusts her team implicitly, as always. She drops her hands into her lap and fidgets with them.  
  
Ava taps a few keys to bring up the home address.  
  
"How about this. How did Zari even find a home address?" She casually rests a hand on Sara's ankle, runs her thumb across the bone a couple times, as she considers the screen. It really is a lovely place, the kind she might want to live in someday. Living somewhere remote and beautiful - it would be possible, but Ava prefers not to commute using the Time Courier unless she has to.  
  
Ava waits for a response from Sara, but when she doesn't get one, she turns around. Sara is tense, eyes shut and hands clamped together.  
  
"Sara, what's wrong?"  
  
Sara seems to catch her breath, and does her best to remember where they were in the conversation.  
  
"No, I'm fine. Are you thinking we should check out the house first?"  
  
"Tell me what's wrong, first."  
  
Sara sighs.  
  
"Nothing's wrong- No, I mean it." She stops Ava's half-formed protest. "I just spent over an hour watching that video today, is all."  
  
"Was it that bad?"  
  
"No. It was really, really not bad. That's the problem."  
  
Ah, _that_ kind of tense. Sara glances meaningfully at Ava's hand, still rubbing gently at her skin. Ava stills her fingers.  
  
Sara quickly refocuses on the screen, back to business. She can be almost too good at putting aside her feelings when there's work to be done. It's a trait Ava admires, and strives for in herself - that _control_.  
  
"I wonder how long she's lived here," Sara says. She's doing something on the laptop but Ava's eyes are still stuck on her face. How much would it take to break that control? Ava would love to find out. It's the end of the workday and they're sitting in her locked office. Sara looks calm to the untrained eye, but Ava knows her too well, can see the energy roaring underneath her skin.  
  
Ava stands slowly, and walks behind Sara to lean against her back. She pulls her hand along behind her, lets it trail slowly from Sara's ankle to her thigh, and grins as Sara yelps in surprise.  
  
"Wait, wait!" Sara clamps a hand down over Ava's on her thigh, holding it still. "Ava, I-" She pauses, takes a breath. "She's nothing like you. She may look like you but everything else - her movements, her voice, her _smile_ \- they just feel wrong. And it felt wrong for me to be watching it at all, much less enjoying it, but I can't always control those feelings. I just - I need you to know that."  
  
Ava smiles softly, and wraps her free arm around Sara's waist from behind, pulling her into a hug. The air is heavy between them and Sara is still holding Ava's hand, facing away from her. Her face is pulled into an odd frown, from nerves and guilt and lingering arousal, but she holds herself still and waits for a response. It's still sinking in a little for Ava, who is still not wholly used to having someone worry about her. There is some truth to Sara's concern, too. The idea of Sara getting off with some alternate version of her is unthinkably awful, but she's spent the whole day rationalizing it away. After all, she's not at all bothered by the rest of Sara's "lookalike collection" of videos. ("They don't really all look like you," Sara had explained, "It's just - They all had something that made me think of you, which is what I wanted to do anyway.") This clone video is different, of course, but Sara knew that. She only watched it when Ava asked her to - when it was needed for the search. She could hardly be blamed for feeling a little excited afterwards, either.  
  
Ava is not upset with Sara, but she's still a little upset with the video in general. She's struck, suddenly, with the only possible solution.  
  
She kisses Sara's cheek lightly, before moving over to her ear.  
  
"It's OK, Sara." she says softly. She's close enough that she knows Sara can feel her breath.  
  
"I wish you didn't have to watch it, but you did it for me, and I'm grateful, so let me do something for you."  
  
Sara turns towards her, locks eyes, and the look in them is so intense that Ava almost forgets what she was saying. She swallows roughly before continuing.  
  
"Let me replace all those memories of her. Let me make you forget you ever saw it."  
  
In an instant, Sara is turning in her arms, pressing herself off the desk and fumbling with the Time Courier on Ava's wrist, and in seconds, they're stumbling home through a portal. Sara, with her nimble fingers, gets the top three buttons of Ava's shirt undone before she notices and stops the wandering hands.  
  
"Mmm, no. I'm leaving the suit on this time."  
  
Sara doesn't complain.  
  
\-------  
  
They don't surface for air until later that night, after Sara has gotten the chance to thoroughly work out her frustrations. She's warm and finally calm in Ava's arms, stretched out on the bed. She's pressed so close that it's hard to focus on her face, but the smile is unmistakable.  
  
"So, did it work?" Ava whispers.  
  
"Hmmm?"  
  
"Did I make you forget?"  
  
Sara laughs, loud in the stillness of the room. "Yeah. I can barely remember my own name." A hand rubs softly at Ava's middle and Sara suddenly looks down, confused. "I didn't even get you naked."  
  
It's true. Sara's hand is pushed up inside Ava's unbuttoned shirt, and her blazer is still on overtop. At this angle it pulls awkwardly at her shoulders, but she hardly minds now. The memory of Sara underneath her, tugging insistently at the lapels, makes any discomfort worth it. She's nude from the waist down though, which must look absolutely ridiculous.  
  
"You got halfway there." she tells Sara, who laughs softly and kisses her.  
  
The hand at Ava's middle tugs her up into a sitting position so that Sara can tug at the back of her blazer, trying to get it off. "Come on, come on- You don't need it anymore, let's just relax."  
  
Much as Ava would love to relax, it's barely 8PM, and there's a lot more planning to for the trip to Italy. "Sara, shouldn't we be heading to the ship sometime soon?"  
  
Sara groans and gives up on trying to pull off Ava's shirt, settling instead for pushing her back down onto the bed. "Noooo, it's definitely bedtime." She does her best to pin Ava down, stretching her whole body across Ava's and closing her eyes. Sara's always sleepy after sex, and while Ava's not especially tired, she's sorely tempted to give up and stay in. "I have a time ship," Sara mumbles, "I'm the captain. It's bedtime when I say it is."  
  
Her mind is made up when Sara tugs the blanket up over both of them and drops a sweet kiss on her forehead. There's nothing wrong with a nap, right? "Mmm, fine." She says and she feels Sara hum happily. "Just let me actually take my shirt off first, ok?"  
  
She stands up, slides out of the blazer and the shirt underneath, with Sara watching fondly. An early night with her beautiful girlfriend it starting to sound better and better. She gets as far as undoing her bra clasp when Sara's phone rings.


	3. June, 1908

_"Captain Lance, we have another development in Director Sharpe's case. You should probably come back to the ship at your earliest convenience."_  
  
Twenty minutes later, they're standing on the bridge of the Waverider, surrounded by the other Legends. Sara is a little grouchy but fully dressed and alert. Gideon's message was relatively cryptic, and Ava can't help but be nervous.  
  
The main projection snaps on and Gideon's voice comes through. "I've run an advanced facial recognition scan on public historical references. I thought this result might interest you."  
  
It is, as expected, a face identical to Ava's. The photo is fully black and white, a little blurry and indistinct. Ava's best guess is early 1900s. It's a front-facing headshot, like a portrait, but the clone's face is drawn and upset. Despite the blur of the image, the shadows of extreme exhaustion are visible on her face. Ava's already working through some theories before the image cuts to a second one, the exact same photo but with her face in profile, and the purpose of the photos becomes clear.  
  
"Wait, is this a mugshot?" Sara asks. The question must be rhetorical. There's nothing else it could be.  
  
"These are the 1908 intake records of Saint Mary's insane asylum." Gideon replies.  
  
The screen changes again, and the rest of the file comes into view. Ava has to squint against the hundred-year-old handwriting.  
  
Patient's name: Henrietta. Date of Admission - June 6th, 1908. Transferred from a women's prison. Reason for admission -  
  
"What the heck is 'moral insanity'?  
  
Ava thinks she knows, and hopes she's wrong. Sara's hand finds hers and holds on.  
  
"Are there any other records?" she asks. She's net sure what she's hoping to find - when was she released? What were the treatments?  
  
What did they do to her?  
  
"There are no additional files. No record was kept after intake of her."  
  
They'll have to go, of course. Three hours ago Ava was planning a weird Italian vacation with some apprehension, but now she's faced with a trip to the wet English countryside to visit a nexus of human misery. She feels so distant from Gabrielle - this woman who looks like her but chooses a life Ava could never live- that she's surprised how close she suddenly feels with Henrietta, if that's even her real name. Henrietta, a woman locked in a cage, tortured for something she can't help. Was she locked up for being gay? Did they try to "fix" her?  
  
The Italy trip will have to wait.  
  
\-------  
  
Undercover work tends to go wrong, for Ava. She's pretty good at staying in character, but circumstances seem to get the best of her. This time more than usual.  
  
She's curled up awkwardly on a hard mattress, surrounded by bare cement walls. Sunlight streams in from a high, barred window - too high up to see out of, even for Ava. Her suit's been taken from her and stashed who knows where, and she's been left with a formless white robe. She looks - and feels - like a ghost. For all the concern she had about cruelty, about the treatments that people saw during these times, the most potent torture has been the solitude.  
  
It's been six days.  
  
Six days ago, on a Friday, she left her office in the early afternoon. Given her typical hours, one afternoon off wasn't going to be a problem, she was sure. Most of her coworkers knew her well enough not to say anything. She had, of course, been cornered on the way out by Gary, who knew her well enough to know that taking time off work was basically a cry for help. She got out by telling him she had something special planned with Sara. He was so *happy* about it. The lie felt sour on her tongue. She stopped long enough to drop a note off on her nightstand at her - their - apartment, before honing in on the date and time coordinates she was looking for.  
  
Seven days ago, the planning meeting with the Legends went _terribly._  
  
\-------  
  
"Look at her! We can't leave her there. I'm not going to some fucking cottage in Italy when this woman is trapped in that hell."  
  
"Ava, we don't even know if she's _real_. Do you really want to infiltrate a hospital when a patient locked in there looks exactly like you? Let us handle it."  
  
Sara's still holding her hands, gentle as always, but after seeing that photo, Ava isn't looking for comfort. She's angry, and it shows as she pulls her hands back and crosses her arms over her chest.  
  
"Both of these investigations need to happen, right? We can split up. You take the Italy job - It's _safe_. You're not going undercover as a mental patient. Do you know what kind of crazy shit they did back then?"  
  
"Heard they poked holes in your brain and electrocuted you." Mick offers from the other end of the room.  
  
Ava's blood runs cold at the thought. She catches Sara turning to him ("Not helping, Mick!") before reaching out, resting a hand softly on Ava's crossed arms.  
  
"Please, just - let's talk about this tomorrow, OK? Just let me work out a few plans while you're at work, do some research."  
  
Ava laughs, loud and a little desperately.  
  
"Sara Lance, planning for something? Now I know you're humouring me."  
  
"Maybe a little. I just want you _safe_."  
  
Sara's voice and hands are still soft, tentative. It's the same tone she uses to calm Ava down whenever something goes crazy - the same tone she used to bring Ava back down the night they found the first impostor. Ava is so weak to it, so enamoured with this woman. She knows tomorrow Sara will talk to her, whisper those words and Ava will agree to them, because it's _Sara_.  
  
She also knows she can't let that happen.  
  
She looks back up at the display photo on the screen, _Henrietta_ , at the shadowy look in her eyes and the exhaustion lines on her face. Ava's going to get her out. She has to.  
  
\-------  
  
She arrives in 1908 at midnight, in the forest behind the asylum's grounds. Today is the 10th, two days after the admission date on Henrietta's papers. Much as Ava is loath to admit it, Sara was right about the undercover options. Disguising herself as an institutionalized woman was a terrible plan. So, she's gone with the second best option - sneak in, sneak out. Her clothes are dark-coloured and easy to move in but nonetheless period appropriate (admittedly not for women). This may be a rogue mission but Ava is still a responsible agent - she's not going to wear modern styles and fabrics into 1908. She's also got her time courier (required) and a couple of period-appropriate non-weapons (because being caught with fighting sticks would be a lot more suspicious than being caught with some oddly sturdy and well-balanced gardening tools.)  
  
The building has a perimeter fence but it's not particularly intimidating. Patients likely aren't allowed outside without supervision. A cursory glance around the area shows no obvious activity. Staffing records show that the institution does employ some guards, but it's not many, and Ava suspects it's not worth their time to patrol the grounds.  
  
She makes short work of the fence and drops down onto the grass. Building floor plans showed the nearest door is tucked into the west wing of the building, which brings her directly into the women's housing. Her first objective, however, is to find a hiding spot for the time courier. She's not bringing it in with her as a precaution.  
  
There's a large shed just inside the perimeter fence, probably for storage, and it looks rarely used. Ava pulls the time courier off her wrist and pushes slowly at the door to the shed. It's nearly pitch black inside, so she feels her way along, finding some shelves under a heavy layer of dust, and what appears to be some coils of rope. It's a perfect spot. She drops the time courier in and she's officially period-appropriate in all she's carrying, ready to head into the main building.  
  
A small noise in the darkness catches her attention.  
  
From the other side of the room she hears - a giggle? - and the hiss of someone shushing the culprit. She can't be found yet. She's barely started. She quickly yanks the time courier back out of its hiding spot and hits the side button - a flashlight - and aims it down towards the other side of the shed.  
  
There, tucked into a nest of spare linens, is a woman - youngish, probably cleaning staff by her clothing. Clothing that happens to be dishevelled and half-removed. Between that and the flush on her face it's easy to guess what she was doing. She and Ava both freeze, and she shoves at the sheet overtop of her. In response, the sheets around her waist shift and another head peeks slowly out from under it. First the sheet of blonde hair, familiar blue eyes, those _freckles_ -  
  
"Sara?"  
  
\-------  
  
"Nurse Redmore?" Ava calls out.  
  
The knocking on her door is gentle but insistent, and Ava figured out a while ago that it's best to respond, because they'll come in either way. She's also putting on a comically fake English accent, because speaking with her natural voice gets notes added to her file about her "delusions". Ava learned quickly that there was nothing to gain by making trouble with the staff. Nurse Redmore is unusually kind, though, and is almost always the one who comes to wake her up. A face peeks around the door and the nurse smiles, bustling in with a tray and a bundle of clothes.  
  
"I've brought your breakfast. You'll have thirty minutes to eat it before I return."  
  
"Thank you, Nurse."  
  
The nurse turns to leave but hesitates, briefly, watching Ava slowly peeling herself out of bed. Sparing a quick glance at the door, she walks back over to Ava.  
  
"How are you managing, Henrietta? The first week is difficult for many of our patients."  
  
As she asks, she reaches out, and gently takes Ava's hand. She truly is too kind for this place, and it's making it difficult for Ava because Nurse Redmore is, well-  
  
Nurse Redmore is _Sara_. In looks, at least, she's identical. She shares a few other traits, too: the empathy, the dedication, and the stubbornness (not to mention the tendency for late-night trysts with beautiful women). But there is where the similarity ends, and spending every day looking at her is excruciating.  
  
Her voice is similar, but of course she's English, and it sounds weird coming from Sara's mouth. Holding her hand just makes Ava miss Sara more.  
  
"I'm OK, Nurse Redmore." She says, and stops. It feels weird in her fake accent, and she's not entirely certain that's the sort of thing anybody would say in England in 1908. Nurse Redmore will forgive her almost anything, though.  
  
When the silence extends, Nurse Redmore squeezes her hand a little and smiles. The smile quickly turns a little mischievous and she leans in a little closer. That _look_ and her closeness are almost too much for Ava, because if this had been Sara she'd be leaning in for a kiss right now, and there's nothing Ava wants more.  
  
"Call me Anne," she says. "When it's just us."  
  
This only adds to Ava's suspicion that Nurse Redmore- that _Anne_ was a little more fond of her than just nurse and patient. That a little bit of Sara somehow carried though to her. Ava has spent days trying to put together theories on what's happening here. To the best of her knowledge, Sara doesn't have any clones wandering around, so who is this? Some kind of alternate universe Sara, crossing over? Does this mean that the copies of Ava they've been chasing _weren't_ her clones, either? There's no real way to find out, from here. The best she can do is keep an eye on Anne, who is currently still waiting for her to respond.  
  
She still hasn't let go of Ava's hand. Ava shuts her eyes for just a moment, lets herself feel the hand in hers, imagines that it's really Sara. When she opens them again, Anne is gazing at her, unmistakeably affectionate, and Ava takes the one chance she has-  
  
"Um, Anne? I've been doing well, I think, but there's one thing you could do that would help me quite a lot."  
  
She adjusts her hand, threads their fingers together and fights against the feeling of _wrongness_ \- that she's somehow cheating on her girlfriend with this mysterious copy.  
  
"It's embarrassing, but, my bracelet. It's just a keepsake, no real value, but it's important to me. It's the only thing I have left of my sister. Do you think you could bring it to me?"  
  
If she can convince Anne to bring her time courier back, she can get out of her without any more trouble at all. She can throw herself at Sara's feet and beg for forgiveness. The lie she tells Anne is a little specific. She's betting on Anne have a few more similarities to Sara, hoping that the fictional sister might tug at her heartstrings the way it would with Sara. And if that's not enough, she shifts herself even closer to Anne, feels the woman's breath catch in her throat, even as she's frowning.  
  
"Henrietta, you know Doctor Elson doesn't approve of sentimental items." Anne says. They're close enough together that she's whispering, and her eyes keep flashing back to the door as if she's afraid of being caught like this.  
  
"Please, Anne." Ava says. In a bold final bid, she reaches out for Anne's other hand so that she's holding both. Without breaking eye contact, she pulls Anne's hand up and presses a kiss to the back of it. Anne flushes, nervous and flustered almost immediately (just another reaction that's so unlike Sara) but it does seem to be working on her.  
  
"Doctor Elson drives into town on Wednesdays, and leaves his office key in the nurses' room. I can retrieve it for you then. Can you wait?"  
  
Ava smiles then, open and honest. She doesn't even have to fake her relief, and she pulls Anne into a hug without thinking about it.  
  
"Yes. _Thank you_."  
  
Anne sinks into the hug and holds on for a little too long, and it feels just enough like Sara to be painful. When this is all over, Ava is going to get a hug like this from her girlfriend and possibly never let go.  
  
Footsteps echo from the hallway and Anne springs back suddenly, eyes darting to the door. She nods to Ava quickly, before leaving. Ava settles in to her breakfast of bland oatmeal with a little more hope that she had waking up this morning.  
  
\-------  
  
Tuesday night arrives and Ava has to admit this place is weighing on her. She's desperately hoping that Anne will pull through tomorrow and she can get her time courier and get out of here. She's spent her long hours in here thinking and re-thinking on how she's going to apologize to Sara. For going off on her own and screwing it up so badly. For going missing for over a week. For-  
  
A shout echoes down the corridor. This is another part of this place that's been weighing on her - the yelling, and banging, and crying, the whole soundtrack of human misery. She thought she might get used to it but she hasn't. Another shout - a man this time? Odd - and footsteps from the other side of the building, getting closer. She's up and out of bed quickly, listening at the tiny window in her door.  
  
"Shit! This place is a fucking maze! You think they're still following us?"  
  
It's _Sara_. It's Sara's real voice. Ava almost cries with relief. The commotion is getting attention in the hallway, and the other inmates are starting to yell too.  
  
"No, Sara, I don't think they're following us after you _knocked out a doctor_." Ray is shouting as well, trying to be heard over the din.  
  
"Hey!" Ava calls. Her voice blends in with the other cries, so she calls out again, desperately. "I'm here! Sara!"  
  
The footsteps outside pause and she can just about hear Sara and Ray speaking "Wait, wait, I thought I heard-"  
  
"Sara, it's me!" She tries again. She's pressed against the door and stretched up on her tiptoes but she still can't see out. Finally, she hears Ray's voice, right by the doorway "405! Sara it's this one!"  
  
There's a sharp bang as the lock on her door is removed from the frame and it finally swings open. Ava, still leaning on it, topples over into the main hallway, straight into Sara's arms. She nearly takes them both to the ground with her momentum. Sara barely lets her hold on for a few seconds before forcing Ava back away, looking her up and down. Ava is terrified to find out exactly how mad Sara is but right now all she can feel is relief, and Sara only looks concerned.  
  
"Are you OK? Did they do anything to you?"  
  
"Nothing. I'm fine, I promise. I'm so _sorry_ , Sara. I fucked up."  
  
Sara winces a little before taking Ava's face in both hands, grounding her, forcing her to focus.  
  
"We'll talk tonight. Right now, we need to get out of here, fast. We weren't exactly subtle on the way in."  
  
Sara pulls her back into a hug as she turns to Ray, working through logistics. Ava tries to focus her mind a little better, to help out, but being tucked into Sara she's finally feeling all the exhaustion of the last few days. She's cold, hungry, tired, and her mind can't seem to focus. She almost forgets-  
  
"Wait! We have to find someone. Staff member. Anne Redmore. She's a nurse."  
  
Sara looks a little perplexed but pushes through over comms to Zari, who is digging through the records in the asylum's main office. The staff are scattered in the commotion, so they have no time to be searching around for Anne, but Ava knows the file's been found when she hears Zari's reply - "Sara, this is the weirdest shit ever."  
  
"Okay, bring it back with us. You've got both files, and the time courier? Alright, we're clear to head back to the ship."  
  
Sara pulls the both of them back into the cell - Ava almost resists, instinctively - but it's only to get an extra secluded location for the portal. It slides open on the side wall, the same place Ava's been fantasizing about opening a portal for days now. She spares a thought for Anne, and how she's going to explain this to Sara, but once she's on the ship it all fades away.  
  
\-------  
  
They don't talk about it that night.  
  
Sara takes one look at her, swaying where she stands, and tells the rest of the Legends they're done for the night. Zari looks a little doubtful, still clutching the two files, but clearly Ava looks too pitiful to work so she lets it slide.  
  
Sara doesn't ask her what she needs, just wraps an arm around her and leads her down the hallway. Ava isn't fully paying attention to where they're going until she's shuffled into a kitchen chair, and Sara pushes a bowl of food over to her. It's some kind of chili. Steam coils off of it, and the smell is nothing short of miraculous, after six days of historical hospital food. She stares for a moment, still a little blurry.  
  
"What, you want me to feed you or something?" Sara prompts, smiling at her.  
  
Ava dutifully picks up her spoon and gets at it. Once the first spoonful is in her mouth, she realizes just how hungry she is, despite the tiredness. Her sudden enthusiasm has Sara laughing softly.  
  
Ava searches for the words she's written in her head, the apologies, but she can't manage them now. Not when she's so out of it, and Sara is here taking care of her like nothing is wrong. All she can do is sit back and let herself be taken care of. She manages to get through the whole bowl without falling asleep face-first into it, but it's a close thing.  
  
Before she knows it, she's back in Sara's bunk, stripped out of that awful robe and dressed in her own sleep shirt, tucked under more blankets than she knew Sara had. Sara climbs in next to her and pulls her into a kiss, gentle but insistent, and she finally, finally relaxes. She's home, she's safe, and the ordeal is over. She and Sara are going to have to talk, and she's going to apologize a hundred times for going off on her own, but at the end of it she knows she'll be forgiven.  
  
\-------  
  
She wakes up and panics for a moment, the shadow of the cell still stuck in her mind. The room is still dark, and she has no idea what time it is. A soft blueish glow tints the walls and she looks up, searching for the source of it. The pieces click into place as she finds Sara, on her usual side of the bed, scrutinizing a stack of documents with a small pen-light.  
  
The room lights come up slowly, catching Sara's attention. Ava sits up to peek at the files she's reading - the two case files from Saint Mary's. The employee file for Anne is a little sparse, but it does have a photo. Sara taps the photo with an index finger and smirks.  
  
"So, did you have some fun with my copy while I wasn't there?" she teases. Ava groans.  
  
"No. She was definitely trying, though."  
  
Sara shrugs, looks appraisingly down at the photo. "Can't say I blame her. Get it, girl."  
  
"She was already getting enough of it without my help."  
  
Sara laughs, before flipping a page over to Henrietta's patient information.  
  
"So, you're probably dying to know. We've been doing some digging. Still not really sure what's going on, but this is definitely not one of those 2213 clones. Gideon's processing the new data we pulled while we were there, and she seems to think it's some kind of weird crossover universe bleeding though into this one."  
  
Ava drops back down onto the pillows, considering. "So, they really are alternate versions of _me_. Nothing to do with those other AVAs." It's such a huge, weird relief not to have to confront where she came from all over again. Something pulls at the back of her mind.  
  
"Even, uh-"  
  
"Yeah, even Gabrielle and her sexy movie career. Gotta be some kind of alternate _alternate_ universe."  
  
It occurs to Ava suddenly that she's had months to contemplate other versions of herself in one way or another, but for Sara this must be pretty new.  
  
"How does it feel to have your own alternate self?" she asks.  
  
"Kind of weird, to be honest." Sara is frowning a little. She pushes the files over to the side table and lies down facing Ava. "What was she like?"  
  
"Absolutely the kindest person in the building, so, like you in that way." She catches Sara rolling her eyes a little in disbelief, but keeps on going. "She was kind of shy, constantly worried about upsetting the doctors. Respect for authority, so, totally not like you in that way." At this, Sara chuckles.  
  
"When I first ran into her, I interrupted some 'private time' she was having with one of the cleaning staff girls, out in a shed in the middle of the night. A lot like you. It was very confusing for me at the time. Anyway she called security on me and got me dragged into the building. The real Henrietta apparently went missing at exactly the same time I arrived."  
  
Sara nods. "We'll have to tell Gideon that part. It's probably not a coincidence."  
  
"Turns out she was the nurse responsible for me. She really liked me, right away. It seemed like she had a thing for me, to be honest."  
  
Sara interrupts her with a kiss, whispers, "Hm. _Exactly_ like me, then," and delights in the soft smile Ava gives her.  
  
"Anyway, I spent a week flirting with her to try to get out of the cell. Sorry."  
  
"Don't be sorry. What was your plan?"  
  
"I convinced her the time courier was a bracelet that I had an emotional attachment to. She promised she'd bring it to me as soon as she could get it past the doctor."  
  
Sara looks a little impressed. "Damn, beautiful and smart. You really are the whole package, aren't you?"  
  
Ava rolls her eyes, but she can't help smiling. Sara is looking at her with that expression again, fond but intense. Ava is still trying to figure out why she isn't mad.  
  
"How did you find me? All the records were still in Henrietta's name."  
  
"You've got Gary to thank for that, actually," Sara says, and Ava frowns in confusion. She hadn't told Gary anything about what was happening, or where she was going.  
  
"According to him, you left work early, and you seemed _weird_ , so he switched up your time courier for his; it has a seven-day automatic distress beacon, apparently. And he called me as soon as you were out the door."  
  
This was news. Ava thought she'd gotten out of the office without arousing suspicion. Gary might not be the world's smartest man but he knows her better than almost anyone, and apparently knows her well enough to see through her. Ava's mind is spinning with questions she's not sure how to ask.  
  
"We gave Gary the distress beacon after he dropped his time courier down a well and got stuck in medieval France for four months," she says, instead. Sara laughs.  
  
"The distress beacon was the only thing we could use to make sure we were rescuing _you_ and not Henrietta," Sara says. "It was a hell of a week, waiting for it to activate."  
  
It's almost a joke, but Ava can see the shadows in Sara's expression, knows exactly how she would feel if Sara went missing for a week. Guilt claws at her again, and she winces.  
  
"Sara - I'm so sorry. It was such a stupid idea."  
  
Sara screws her eyes shut, takes a couple of deep breaths. "I'm not mad, Ava. I just - I was really worried. Why did you go without me?"  
  
"You should be mad! Hell, I'm mad at me. You were so concerned, so insistent that I shouldn't go there, but I just knew that I had to. I had to go. I felt like I had to go before I lost the nerve, before you convinced me to go to Italy instead. I mean, we're not sure what's going on but Gabrielle didn't need a rescue mission. Henrietta did. I just wasn't expecting it to go quite as badly as it did."  
  
Sara sits for a minute, letting the explanation sink in. She's turned to lie on her back, staring up at the ceiling, but she hasn't let go of Ava's hand, which is reassuring.  
  
"I was angry. I spent half of last week angry. And then I spent the other half terrified. I wish you'd trusted me."  
  
Finally, she turns.  
  
"Maybe- Maybe I was a little overprotective. I'm sorry if I made you think you couldn't tell me about it. But, you know-" Sara leans back in towards her, a teasing smile growing on her face. "That was _such_ a Legend move. Reckless, impulsive. Going off on your own without backup and getting captured immediately. We are definitely rubbing off on you."  
  
"What? No way." Ava shoves at Sara's shoulder and she laughs, tugging Ava closer by the waist.  
  
"We are! You can't deny it now. Any day now you're gonna quit your job and become a crazy time rebel." She smacks a kiss to Ava's forehead, still laughing.  
  
"Oh god, I'm turning into a Legend."  
  
With Sara settled warmly against her side, she thinks - it's not the worst thing she could be.


End file.
